Anyone who has been touched by suicide knows the what-ifs and questions we torment ourselves with: What could I have done differently? What if I was there? What if I had said this or done that? Was it my fault? Ultimately, we are left with no one to ask but ourselves. Understanding that there is nothing we could have done, said, or changed will ease the questions and contribute to our healing.
The question we then ask is, “How do we get there?” For me, I know what worked. I went to a medium, I sought therapy, I talk about his life and death openly, and I build castles with the good memories and slowly sift through the rest. It isn't easy, but I know he is very much alive and well, just not quite in the line of sight. This worked for me, but we are all different. Some people may be comfortable with therapy, some people may just want support from family and friends, while others seek support groups because family and friends may cause too many painful memories. Whatever the case, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Suicide has changed me. Inevitably, whether we like it or not, change is a huge part of life. Since we are still alive, we must persevere and live even if it is without this person we love so dearly. It can be done and eventually the passage of time will slowly lessen the acute pain and grief. We will see them again.
My Medium Readings & Suicide
I have only been doing mediumistic readings for 10 years. Honestly, I have no long history of talking to those who have crossed over in my recollection. I do have many memories of being psychic or intuitive that now make sense, but I think we all do at some level. I only started doing medium readings after I realized I could and that was only after my boyfriend passed. I do not usually hear him say anything, but I get lots of signs. So I started asking my friends and practicing on people. I would say, give me a name and don't tell me anything else and eventually I didn't need a name. What started happening was amazing to me as well as some of the people I read. I do not profess by any means to be anywhere near the talent of John Edward or Sylvia Browne, but once I realized I could do it, a strange thing started to happen.
Most of the medium readings I did were suicides. I didn't seek them out or tell them my story, but they seem to come to me and the messages I receive from the other side are pretty similar most of the time.
Suicide and the Afterlife
A lot of us living wonder...Where are they now? Are they OK? How you were brought up, your religious preference, and how you view the afterlife will inevitably color your perception of where your loved one eternally resides. I can tell you for certain, they are OK. Their soul is not eternally damned or burning in some fiery pit. This is what I have gathered from readings I have done. In some cases they are met by their loved ones or animals that have already passed, then they go to what I could only describe as a hospital in human words. It’s some place where they go to recover and review. There they are asked those questions that we plague ourselves with here. What could I have done differently? What if I had said this or done that? However, let me make this clear, it is not an inquest or place where they are made to feel guilty. The best way I could describe it is like this: They are a football player sitting with a coach reviewing plays from a previous game. They look at the plays, discuss what could have been different, and make up a plan for the next time these plays come up again.
Our loved ones who have crossed over can still see what they have left behind. While they are content to be in this safe, loving dimension, they can still feel sad for us and the pain we are enduring. They want you to know that they are OK and still with you. They want us to know there is nothing we could have done or said or changed and no, it isn't our fault. They want us to know it was their choice and there is nothing we could've done. Look for them trying to connect with you. Songs, electrical disturbances, goose bumps, and dreams are just some of the ways they may be trying to connect and get this message to you. Know that they love you, know that they are OK, and rest assured you will see them again when it is time.